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How To Go To Therapy

How do you find the right therapist? This blog walks you through all the different therapists you can consult, a range of therapy websites you can check out, and a couple of tips to prepare you for your first session.

February 19, 2024
Janet Lee
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Doing Well Founder
How To Go To Therapy
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Finding a therapist can be an intimidating process. You not only have to deal with finding the right therapist. You also need to work through the stigma surrounding addressing mental health concerns.

For those new to therapy, there are practical steps you can take to work through the stigma and identify the right therapist so you can set the stage for a meaningful first session.

Why are some people scared to go to therapy?

Even with its numerous benefits, there are still reasons why some people may not be comfortable with the idea of therapy:

  • Cost 💸: Therapy can often be expensive. If you are uninsured or underinsured, out-of-pocket prices may be unmanageable.

    You may also feel that therapy isn't truly geared towards helping you when you have to pay for it.

  • Fear 😰: You’re scared that therapy makes you look weak, like something's wrong with you.

    There is a stigma that therapy always looks a certain way. If you have never been to therapy, the imagery you may have seen related to therapy were crying, laying on a couch staring at the ceiling, unpacking childhood trauma.

  • Judgement 👀: Therapy is not socially accepted among your peers and you don't want people to know you have problems.

  • Prior experience 📆: If you have had a bad experience with a therapist, you may view therapy as a negative or unsafe place.

  • Time ⏰: Whether you’re busy with your other commitments are just procrastinating on finally booking that appointment, finding time to go to therapy can be tricky.

  • Identity 👤: Perhaps you aren’t a native English speaker, come from a household that looked down upon therapy, or have physical accessibility needs.

    In addition to the fear thanks to stigmas or pre-existing beliefs, identity-related barriers can compound those feelings.

  • Reluctance to open up ❤️: Many individuals feel uncomfortable discussing personal issues due to fear of judgment, belief in self-reliance, or just unpreparedness to address issues.

    A lot of people were also taught that it’s best to hide their feelings growing up. Some aren’t sure about what to talk about during a session.

  • Believes therapy can't fix them 💔: It's common for individuals to have a nihilistic outlook on therapy.

    Shifting this mindset involves emphasizing the collaborative nature of therapy, where therapists guide and support while clients actively engage in their own growth process. 

Types of Therapists — Differences to Know

The good news about therapy is there are many different types of providers as well as modalities. 

HTML Table Generator

Psychiatrists Psychologists Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSWs Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFTs)
Who are they 👩‍⚕️  Medical doctors focused on diagnosing mental health disorders Treats mental health disorder with medications  Doctors focused on mental health therapy modalities related to understanding and assessing mental health concerns.  Provides counseling services with a focus on environmental factors affecting mental health.  Provides clients with support related to interpersonal relationships.
 Best for ✅ Individuals with severe mental health disorders requiring medication management.

Those seeking a comprehensive approach to mental health that combines medical and therapeutic interventions.
Those looking for therapy rooted in addressing underlying mental health concerns.

People interested in talk therapy without medication management.
 Individuals facing challenges that extend beyond individual therapy, such as societal or systemic issues.  Individuals seeking marital counseling.

Those who wants a deep dive into the dynamics of their relationship with the people around them.

People looking for a therapist with a strong emphasis on personal development and relationship dynamics.

How much does therapy cost?

The cost of therapy can vary widely. It all comes down to: 

       ✅ Type of therapist you choose and level of experience

       ✅ Length of the session

       ✅ Frequency of the session

To give a general idea though, the cost-per-session often looks something like $100 to $200 before any insurance kicks in. 

How to Pay For Therapy

Insurance

Whether your employer pays for your insurance plan or you have one of your own, most providers will accept various forms of insurance and the client only pays for the co-pay.

▶️ Some common types include Anthem, Blue Cross Blue Shield, Kaiser Permanente, and United Healthcare, to name a few. Additionally, Medicaid and Medicare often cover mental health services.

Out-of-Pocket or Private Pay

This means that the client incurs all costs for each session.

Health Savings Account (HSA) or Flex Spending Account (FSA)

Many HSA or FSA programs will cover costs for therapy, whether co-pay or out-of-pocket.

Free Therapy

There are often programs in various communities offering free therapy sessions.

▶️ Statewide programs or crisis hotlines often fund a handful of free sessions for qualifying folks.

▶️ If you are a victim of a crime, you may be eligible for reimbursement through Crime Victim’s Compensation

Tips to Choose a Therapist 

Finding a “good” therapist is kind of like dating. At the end of the day, it comes down to your personal situation and needs. 

Whether you’re searching for a family therapist, couples therapy, individual therapy, or anything in between — a good therapist is the one that meets your needs. 

  • Have an idea of what your therapy goals are when searching. If you want to focus on support with an eating disorder, choose a therapist who specializes in that area of therapy.

  • Make sure the payment options align with your needs (i.e., accept your insurance, offer sliding scale fees, etc.)

  • Choose someone who will make you feel comfortable. We obviously can’t anticipate who the person is via an internet search, but if you feel more comfortable with a female provider, narrow your search to female providers.

  • Look for a therapist who offers limited barriers to accessibility — someone close to home or work, offers after-work appointments, etc.

  • Don't search for a therapist during a crisis because heightened emotions may lead to hasty decisions. Proactively explore options during calmer times for a thoughtful choice that prioritizes your long-term mental well-being.

Where to Look For Help

If you search for “therapist near me”, you are likely to find many, possibly overwhelming, options. Here are a couple of starting points to make the research process easier for you:

Your insurance company

A good way to narrow down the search is to start with your insurance provider. Most insurance companies have a website where you can look for providers, including therapists. 

These websites will usually give you information on cost, availability of new patients, and any other important information that you may need to know.

Aggregators

Websites such as Psychology Today will have directories of providers, their specialties, and their contact information. The only downside is that the processes of these platforms tend to be more outdated compared to other options.

Government resources

Your state’s Department of Public Health may also have directories. It is important to note that you should still check out the therapist’s website or call to verify that the details online are correct. 

Online apps and websites

The list of available online therapy options is long. Here are some you can start with:

📌 Better Help

  • Approach: Better Help offers a diverse range of therapeutic services through text, video, and voice communication. The only downside is that your information may not be as secure.

  • Features: The platform emphasizes convenient and confidential counseling, allowing users to communicate with their therapists at their own pace.

📌 Talk Space

  • Format: Talk Space provides online therapy through messaging, live chat, and video sessions.

  • Diversity: It caters to various mental health needs, pairing users with licensed therapists who specialize in different areas.

  • Flexibility: Talk Space is known for its flexibility, allowing users to connect with therapists from the comfort of their own space.

📌 Rula

  • Unique Approach: Rula stands out with its focus on mental wellness through self-improvement challenges and personalized exercises.

  • Engagement: The platform encourages users to actively participate in their mental health journey by completing tasks and challenges designed to promote well-being.

📌 Headway

  • Tailored Matching: Headway emphasizes personalized matching, connecting users with therapists based on individual preferences and needs.

  • User Experience: The platform strives to create a positive user experience, making the process of finding and engaging with a therapist straightforward.

  • Insurance-focused: Headway helps you find the right therapist and making sure it's covered by your insurance.

📌 Alma

  • Simple & straight-to-the-point search experience: Alma links you to a varied network of therapists with expertise in areas such as anxiety, depression, personal development, relationships, and beyond.

  • Exceptional care: Alma therapists benefit from resources such as ongoing education and professional development, ensuring that you receive top-notch care.

📌 Maven

  • Specialized Services: Maven is geared towards women's health, offering a range of services, including mental health support.

  • Holistic Approach: Beyond therapy, Maven aims to address various aspects of women's well-being, making it a comprehensive platform for those seeking specialized care.

Therapy FAQs

How do I prepare for the first session? 

Come with an idea of your therapy goals. You don’t have to have them all figured out, but it can be a good place to start. 

Additionally, you don’t have anything elaborate prepared. Therapy is an opportunity for you and your therapist to work alongside each other in helping you reach your goals and maybe discover new ones along the way. 

Here are questions you can talk about on your first therapy session: 

  • What was your relationship like with your parents and other family members growing up?
  • What is your earliest memory?
  • What is your biggest regret?
  • What are you most proud of?
  • What was your childhood like?
  • What are your goals for the future?
  • How do you handle stress?
  • What is your daily routine like?
  • Are there any things you want to change about yourself right now?
  • When was your last romantic relationship?
  • Who is in your support system right now?

How often do I need to go to therapy? 

The great thing about therapy is that it is your space. You and your therapist can discuss how often it might be helpful, or possible, and go from there. You can also change it up after some time has passed.

Is it confidential?  

All therapists are legally and ethically required to keep sessions confidential. There are exceptions to confidentiality, however, if a disclosure of being a harm to one’s self or others is made, as well as reports of elder or child abuse. 

These rules may vary by state and provider, so it is a good idea to check with your therapist before sessions begin. 

Therapy can be a complex and intimidating step in supporting one’s mental health. There are many barriers but also many benefits. You’ve been given this therapy “cheat sheet”, now go and let this information empower you to begin your own therapy work and growth! 

Janet Lee
Doing Well Founder

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